TUESDAY - 12:15 PM
After practice on Friday, the Cleveland Brown’s much maligned starting QB Deshaun Watson, expressed publicly that he is “feeling a little tight” going into the first week of the season after having been banned from massage parlors across the nation.
“Yeah my back is feeling a little tight for sure,” Watson said at the podium, “I’m only allowed to get massages from several designated old men at the training facility. A majority of them have arthritis so it feels less like a massage and more like someone trying to dig a hole with a paper shovel.”
Watson did not play most of the 2022 season due to pending litigation in alleged sexual misconduct cases. But the Browns have stuck by their man, citing his commitment, talent and work ethic. Rumors are that Watson has even sought out mentorship from a previous, and massively popular Browns quarterback in Johnny Manziel.
“I started off by asking Jonny to do my massages. I thought about asking Baker, but I heard his hands were too small.”
“Eventually it turned into Jonny giving me some advice. He gave me several tips about a lot of things, but specifically what it means to be a Browns quarterback. He let me know that playing quarterback for the Browns isn't about protecting the football, scoring touchdowns, or even winning for that matter. It is more about protecting yourself and knowing that the fans will be there no matter how bad you are.”
When questioned about his circle of friends and those he seeks advice from, Watson was quick to state that he had a wide variety of influences pouring into his life.
“I have other mentors as well. For example, I am currently chatting with Robert Kraft about the places that he gets his massages. Maybe I can find some exemptions to work with them.”