SUNDAY - 9:00pm
In a shocking discovery, a local man discovered that men aren't the only ones shooting hoops. The man, whose name has been withheld to protect his identity, has managed to live all 28 ½ years of his life blissfully unaware that half the population is capable of dribbling a ball and shooting a basket.
Sources report that the man stumbled upon this revelation accidentally while watching a pre-season corn-hole match for his favorite team, the Baltimore Bag Bouncers. After the corn hucking had ended, ESPN3 began to show previews for a WNBA game. Initially, the man was obviously confused, thinking that it must be some kind of charity event or staged exhibition match. But as he watched, he became convinced that these women were actually playing a legitimate game of basketball.
Stunned by this discovery, the man had this to say when questioned by SE reporters:
"I mean, I've watched a lot of basketball in my life," he said, attempting to count the exact number in his fingers. "But I never knew that women could do all that jumping and throwing and stuff. I would have thought that their hair or their dresses would get in the way, or something."
“Turns out they have really cool team names as well, like Mystics, Sky, and Dream… which coincidentally were all names of some of my ex-girlfriends.”
We reached out for additional comment, and enquired whether the man would consider himself a sexist or not. “I know it looks bad, but I am definitely not a sexist,” responded the man, “I watch Paige Spiranac play golf all the time! So I already knew that women could do sports and stuff.”
At the time of writing of the article, the man now claims to be a big fan of the WNBA team the New York Liberty and insists he was planning to buy tickets as soon as he could figure out where the team was from.