WEDNESDAY - 5:00 PM
Unfortunate reports have emerged from Miami that a local golfer may be severely misguided about his golf game.
Brooks Demar, a Dad in his 30s who likes to go out occasionally “with the guys”, has been overheard talking about how his golf game may be improving, despite never breaking 90 yards a day in his life.
Our reporters caught up with Demar after a recent 9-hole round where the only birdies were the gestures he occasionally flourished at the ball.
“You know, honestly I think I fixed my slice toward the end there,” said Demar, the eternal optimist, “My secret is that I play a lot of golf on my VR headset after the kids go to bed. I often tell my wife I am gonna' take a shower but sneak on the headset instead. My bathroom isn’t huge, but I can almost get a full arm extension. Although my knuckles are fairly sore from whacking the toilet.”
“Today was mostly bad because the grass was wet and I rolled into some gator footprints. I think my next round should be great as long as the weather holds up.”
We caught up with Demar’s friends afterwards for comment.
"It’s honestly kind of sad,” said his friend, “I haven’t seen that kind of naivety since my son told me he was going to be a professional basketball player, and let me tell you, that kid ain’t gonna’ be a hair over 5’6” "
“I have never seen anyone use a 3-wood on the fringe before,” said another friend who was present, “he kept calling it his big-bertha and whispering to it. He also kept calling the LIV Tour the LIVE Tour and it drove me absolutely bonkers.”
Last we heard from Demar he was considering buying Wii Sports off Facebook Marketplace to improve his game further.